Monday, April 25, 2016

Why I Sold My Bazooka--Humour

                                                      Why I Sold my Bazooka
                                                               Slim Fairview

Before I tell you why I sold my bazooka, it behooves me to tell you why I bought it in the first place.

In the first place, I bought a bazooka to go hunting. Ostensibly. Now I know what you bleeding hearts are saying. So right up front I will tell you that all I bought was the bazooka.  I did not buy any bullets for it.

I say ostensibly because hunting was  the excuse  I told my wife to explain why I bought a bazooka.  You see I didn't want to worry her.  Of course, I must emphasize that I am opposed to my going hunting.  Not other people going hunting, just me.

Now,  I know there are those who defend hunting by claiming they hunt for food.  And those who reject the excuse by pointing out you can buy food at the supermarket, but let's be serious here: have you ever seen moose chops or an oven-stuffer bunny rabbit in your grocer's meat case?

Still, hunting does involve getting up in the middle of the night, pitch dark, freezing  cold, and driving to the middle of nowhere, to get out of a warm car and walk deep into the forest to sit and wait for the Sun to come up.  And when it does, the ground thaws and you find yourself knee deep in mud.  Which brings us to another issue: there are no bathrooms in the forest.

After you set yourself up, you must wait for, say, a deer to go past.  Then you must shoot it.  If  you miss, the deer runs away with all the other deer in the area and you must go home.  Or, you can start walking into the forest looking for more deer.  This where other hunters are waiting for deer and you hope they don't know that you are the reason why all the other deer ran away.

However, if you wound the deer, you must track it until you find it, then kill it, unless another hunter finds it first and kills it, and you must walk back to your car and go home--deerless. If you kill the deer there is still work to be done.

You must now dress it, or undress it, but from the wrong side--the inside.  If you plan to eat it, you must check one of the organs to make sure the deer is not too sick to eat.  You must know which organ, what it looks like, and what it is supposed to look like.  If all is not well, you must walk back to your car and go home. Again--deerless.

That much done, you now carry it back to your car hoping not to get shot by someone who mistakes your dead deer for a deer, or worse, mistake you for a dear and shoots your bum off..

If you get it home without being run off the road and killed by a non-violent, animal lover,  you must take your deer to be butchered.  I emphasize your deer because you might not get your own deer back.  Some deer are wild, some are farm raised, I don't know the difference, and presumably neither will you. But the butcher does and he knows hunters who know, and may switch your deer for someone else's deer.  Oh, and you must pay for this.

Now you have enough deer to feed your family and three other families for two years. But take heart. Etiquette says you must share your deer with others.  However, the only others who eat deer meat are hunters themselves and also have enough deer meat to feed four families for two years.  I will let you figure out the servings per pound, but it's not a pretty number.

This is why I don't hunt.  Nonetheless, I told my wife I bought the bazooka to go hunting.  My wife didn't buy it.  I broke down and confessed.

“I bought the bazooka for protection.  For your protection. To protect you. In case we have an intruder.”

That was when she got me to break down and confess that I didn't actually buy any bullets for the bazooka.

“I'm not having you shooting off bazookas  in my house.”

“But, honey, you don't understand. I just bought the bazooka. I didn't buy any bullets for it.”

“If I may ask, what good is buying a bazooka for protection if you don't have any bullets for it?”

“Easy.  If there is an intruder, all I have to do is to point the bazooka at him. He will see it, get scared, and run away.  See?”

My wife thought for a moment.  I figured I’d won her over when she said, "May I point something out?"


"What happens if the intruder also has a bazooka.  But his wife doesn't love him as much as I love you and she lets her husband buy bullets for his bazooka?"

Then I saw the flaw in my otherwise flawless plan.  I agreed to sell my bazooka.  So, I truck on down (actually I have a compact) to the Gun Shop and Firing Range to sell my bazooka.  I tried to get as much for it as I paid for it, but there were few takers.  One fellow did agree to buy it but for much less than I wanted.  He said, "If you had bullets for it, I'd pay you a lot more."

I asked him what he wanted the bazooka for.

He said he was going to buy it for protection, but that he was going to tell his wife he was buying it to go hunting.

I see.  I just took my money and left.  I wasn't happy with what I got for it, but on the bright side, I got more for it than he’s going to get when he goes to sell it.  Come to think of it, that's how I got it for such a good price in the first place.

Warmest regards,


Copyright (c) 2013 Bob Asken
All rights reserved.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Social Eugenics

Slim Fairview

Social Eugenics, in its most benign form, is the attempt to study a productive group or team, analyse it, replicate it, and reproduce similar results.

This, of course, is based on a faulty premise and on a well-intentioned but ultimately evil paradigm.

"Social Eugenics is the dehumanising field of study that reduces people to a list of component traits in order to organise them into groups to achieve a desired result." ~ Slim Fairview

Also From the Quotations of Slim Fairview

1. "Leaders are defined by their followers."

2. "Look behind you. If people are following you, you're a leader. If they're not, you're not."

3. "You can't lead if you can't manage."

The entire initiative is based on reducing individuals to individual components.

Various individuals are defined by isolating social genes--or demographic DNA.  Each may be valid and defensible in its own right. But it is not the skills that are being called into question. It is the end to which they are employed.

Such may include but are not limited to

Listening skills

Others may have more objective criteria--math skills, for instance.

There are reasons why some people become accountants and other people become artists.  One and perhaps most significant reason is that "They Want To."  Similarly, some people work better in groups, others work better alone, still others in pairs.

When used, however, to create a perfect team or group, even when the goal is to organise people to work together to be successful, they have dehumanised the people and have created a contrived arrangement.

Some of the tools are

Teach Consensus Building.  Aside from my having defined consensus building as group-think built by a consultant, Consensus Building is really influencing the members of a group to embrace a shared value or a shared vision to validate a preconceived ideal.

Leadership Training.  This is a series of exercises (where there are no right or wrong answers) to teach people presumed to have management skills how to lead people in such a way that will justify blaming the employees for any failures to meet standards or to achieve goals.

There is still the observer effect.

When a man is at the checkout at the supermarket sees an attractive young cashier, he stands up straight, sucks in his gut, and smiles.  When his wife is with him, not so much.  The observer influences the behaviour of the observed.

Appearance of Science.  With the rise of Social Eugenics, people attempt to portray opinions as facts so they can challenge facts by defining them as opinions. (SF.)

Who's to Say What's Right or Wrong?

"Circumstances if not consequences will determine who's right and who's wrong--too often when it's too late to benefit from the answer."

In an article I am writing about "personal robots" I pointed out that people who are affluent enough to afford a PSR (Personal Service Robot) will become desensitised to people in the service industry.  A robot can replicate a human, but a human won't replicate a robot.

Social Eugenics is based on an analogous principle.  That people are components in a group; and by analysing those individual traits, people can organise the component people into groups or teams that will become successful at achieving the desired results.

Warmest regards,


Copyright (c) 2016 Bob Asken
All rights reserved.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Marketing to Millennials

For the media and or marketing people.

Alton Brown said he was paid more for 1 episode of a kitchen/combat show than an entire season of Good Eats.

If you want to make money, be a financial success, give the consumers what they want: Bread and Circus. [Or, to show I know how to use Google--panem et circenses.]

The Cooking Network switched to cooking contest shows

MTV once stood for Music Television. Then, talk and reality TV, with game shows thrown in.

The House Decorating and Remodeling shows spend more time showing people smashing walls and cupboards with sledge hammers than they do to showing the finished product.
And...the cooking shows have switched to close-ups and what I call cut to cut to. Lemon slice, pinch of salt, egg yolk, cut to: cut to: cut to:

As the politicians transmogrified from the 5 second sound-bite to the 2 second sound-bite, and we coined the phrase "the elevator pitch", as MTV shortened our attention span by conditioning us to embrace images that changed in a matter of one or two or three seconds. so too has the market changed.

The Market Demands:



To the point.

Slim Fairview's Four Rules of Communication:





Witness "Social Media".

c u l8r.

Remember: When Selling to Millennials:

Loud Noises...Bright Colours...&...Shiny Things 

Tap into this and you may be more successful reaching the millennials.

Of course, when millennials do it, it's because they're millennials.  When I do it, it's because I'm old fashioned, old, or have no patience... &c.

Warmest regards,


Copyright (c) 2016 Bob Asken

All rights reserved.

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Hiring Einstein's Fish

Einstein said, "You don't measure the intelligence of a fish by its ability to climb a tree."

Okay.  Measure the intelligence of a fish by its ability to swim under water.

You don't measure the intelligence of a cat by its ability to swim under water.

Measure the intelligence of a cat by its ability to climb a tree.

From this I conclude,

If you want someone to climb a tree, hire a cat!

We don't do that.

We measure the intelligence of a fish by its ability to swim under water then hire the fish to climb a tree.  When the fish can't climb the tree, we hire a cat to climb the tree...and put the fish in charge of the cat.

If there is a problem, we send the fish to a leadership training programme.

If there is still a problem the fish goes into his boss to tell him:

The cat is not a team player,
The cat does not want to follow orders,
The cat wants to do what he wants to do.

The boss tells the fish to form a committee.

The committee decides:

There is no I in team,
To be a good leader you need to be a good follower,
The fish went to a leadership training programme and he wants to help the cat be the best tree climber he can be.
The fish will send the cat to a tree climbing training programme--run by fish.

If the company still has problems, the fish tells his boss, I did everything I could possibly do.
The cat is not a team player,
I tried to work with the cat using my leadership skills,
I sent the cat for training to improve his tree climbing skills,

The cat is counseled.

The cat leaves to take a job with a company where a cat is in charge of tree climbing.

The fish convinces you to hire more fish.

You end up with a tree surrounded with dead fish lying on the ground.

If you want someone to climb a tree, hire a cat.

Warmest regards,


Copyright (c) 2016 Bob Asken
All rights reserved.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Appl Meets Hollywood

Apple Meets Hollywood


Sexy hi-tech FIRM seeks creative Hollywood Mogul. Objective?  Hot Content.

Two years ago I suggested that APPLE and Facebook buy AOL Time Warner CNN. The reason? Content.

$1.5 Billion Dollars + 1.5 Billion Users = Profit$.

It never happened.  However, others have been buying up content.

Now, Apple is looking for content (original content) for their devices.

At the same time, another topic near and dear to my heart, is the move to move “In sync” with Cisco.  Why?  To make Apple products more useful to more people.

You all know the basic paradigm.

  • An organization grows large.
  • Economies to scale meet the law of diminishing returns.
  • Efficiencies decline.
  • Focus on the quality of some products causes the quality of others to suffer.
  • There is contention among employees working on different projects.

  • Profits will attract competitors.
  • A large number of competitors will nibble at profits.
  • Unique features of competing products will create pressure to improve your product.
  • Pressure on employees (and on bosses) will effect morale negatively.
  • Some competitors will go out of business due to bad products or management.
  • Other competitors will blend together through M&A creating larger competitors.
  • Those competitors will benefit from economies to scale as they grow.
  • There will be market penetration. And innovation. And competition.
  • They will innovate and or cut prices causing you more pressure.

  • Big companies will begin to sell off bits of itself to:
  • Concentrate on our core
  • Do what we do best
  • Cut costs
  • Become more efficient
  • Focus on R&D
  • Better serve our valued and appreciated customers.

Now, APPLE is meeting with Cisco.  Great Move.

Now, about content….

A lovable but failed middle-age blogger seeks fame doing You Tube videos.

Warmest regards,


Copyright © 2015 Bob Asken
All rights reserved.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

China: QE and Emerging Nations

Is it possible for the "Chinese Central Bank" to launch a bond buying programme for companies listed on the Chinese exchanges to enable them to start a stock buy-back programme to bring up their prices?

This will help small and large investors  

recoup their losses  

restore confidence in the economy, 

restore confidence in the markets and 

Restore confidence in the Government

This will refocus the Chinese Economy on:

Capital Investment

Economic Development &


And will:

Help to rebuild the infrastructure

Increase employment

Increase the consumer class

Increase the investor class &

Reposition China in the Global Market

The Next Challenge is Here

Looking at the change in the global landscape requires comment.  I have included my article The Next Challenge is Here in this article. 

At the end, I've included links to related articles.

First:  This in an Economics Lesson.  Focus on the Economics ONLY!

The haves are increasing arithmetically. The have-nots are increasing geometrically.

The real challenge is not the difference in the number of dollars between the haves and the have-nots.

The real challenge is the difference between the number of people between the haves and the have-nots.

This is not a sustainable model. Period!

What Politicians discuss is only what Western Nations can wrap their brains around.

Politicians say Mexicans take jobs Americans don't want.

Politicians say people in the Middle East are escaping war, genocide, and starvation.

Politicians say that migration in parts of Asia is the results of ethnic groups escaping ethnic based violence.

And of course, the scourge of the Earth, human traffickers.

Now, Remember when I said the real challenge is the difference in the number of people between the haves and the have-nots.

To grasp the concept, we will reference a few principles of physics to establish the metaphor.

We are witnessing an incontrovertible law of physics.

1.  People are moving from a greater concentration to a lesser concentration.  The high-density impact on emerging nations.  Populations are increasing--land mass is not.

2. Money. Money in the industrialised nations will reach  a saturation point if it has not done so already.  At this point, it will be necessary to move money from industrialised nations to emerging nations.

This was one of the proponents in my article Greek Proposal. The article is located here along with Dear. Mr. Varoufakis, and Antigone Defeats Merkel. To understand Europe, one must read Antigone Defeats Merkel and, by extension, Antigone. To understand Merkel and Germany, one must read The Anatomy of Human. Destructiveness. by Erich Fromm. 

FOUR STRATEGIES (The First Three are Wrong)

     1.  Protect your stuff from people who don’t have stuff.

     2.  Share your stuff with people who don’t have stuff.

     3.  Share other people’s stuff with people who don’t have stuff.

     4.  Help People Who Don’t Have Stuff to Get Their Own Stuff.

While history is rife with disasters that were caused by ignoring the challenge, this time may be different.

Not because I say so; but rather because 5 Billion “have nots” say so.

This time, the world cannot ignore the message.

Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it. Santayana.

“Those who never learned history are doomed—Period! Slim Fairview.

Solving the Emerging World Crisis

Forming an E 20 

Emerging Nations Economic Union

Third World First. Okay? 

Micro-Finance: $10. to the Road to Prosperity

G - 20 Summit! E - 20 Invited?

And President Obama said...

Our Middle East Muddling 

Warmest regards,


Copyright © 2015 Bob Asken

All rights reserved

Monday, June 22, 2015

Merkel and Charybdis

Odysseus, King of Ithaca, would know what to do.

Every Greek man, woman, and child; every European man, woman, and child, has a right and the need to have his or her leaders call for and succeed in Chancellor Merkel stepping down. Now.

The Analysis is Simple

Have we followed Merkel's lead? Yes.
Have things gotten better? No.
Have things gotten worse? Yes.
Conclusion?  Do not follow Merkel's lead.

This is not politics.  This is not economics. This is common knowledge and common sense!

I have been calling for Merkel to step down since last year.

European Leaders who follow Merkel are by definition, not leaders.

European Leaders who follow Merkel are by definition followers.

As for Merkel, if you can't manage, you can't lead.  Merkel has failed to manage the crisis.

The Chancellor has proven willing to discuss any idea or plan that will impede or prevent any solution to the crisis being implemented.

You cannot cut wages, fire people, raise taxes, and call it a disaster plan--disaster plans are intended to prevent disasters, not cause them.  A one-pronged approach is not a solution--it is a weapon.  The very approach is designed to decrease the GDP.
I also warned that the Firewall around Greece would not help Greece's neighbor--Spain.  This is proving to be true.  In Spain, the most popular Tweet is "Stop Merkel."

The following are fairly comprehensive.

EuoBondage and Leadership.

Merkel's Last Stand

The EuroCrats Trojan Plan--Destroy Greece

Too Greek to Fail

Firewall or Farce?

Now is the time for European Leaders to lead.



Copyright (c) 2012 Slim Fairview
All rights reserved.

Monday, June 8, 2015


Today, President Obama, addressing the press at the G-7 meeting, invoked the mantra I’ve propounded for almost five years. Capital Investment.

How long have the EuroCrats been attempting to solve the Greek Economic Crisis?
Too Long.  The same applies to the EuroCrisis.

By now we should be able to invoke Slim Fairview’s Empirical Method of Analysis.

Have we tried austerity?
Have things gotten better?
Have things gotten worse?
Don’t do that.

The first rule of holes: When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

Reform is the smallest part of the solution to the Greek Economic Crisis.  We need, as I’ve said repeatedly, Capital Investment + Economic Development + Growth.


What is one thing Greece has been known for?  Shipping. Did anyone say Onassis?
If the EuroCrats don’t embrace this idea, the Chinese will.  Case in point.  When I heard that Air Travel will double in the next 20 years, I posed the question, does that mean we will need to double the number of airports, or double the number of planes?  What happened?  Boeing increased the size of the planes.

China is building a Canal in Nicaragua. Why? To accommodate the Super Ships. Why? To ship from Western Africa, through the Nicaragua canal to China and the rest of Asia.

Remember what I said in my article “Energy Independence? (Then What?)”  I said, when we no longer need oil from Saudi Arabia, then Saudi Arabia will need to find a new customer. (China) If China is the new customer, China is also the new friend.  And oil can move on supertankers through the Nicaragua canal to China and the rest of Asia.

It is impossible to exaggerate the importance of shipping and, by extension, the importance of ships.  Ship building in Greece, with Chinese Capital Investment, can meet that demand.  This is not strategic planning.  This is marketing.

Marketing: Find a need and fill it.

The EuroUnion has a narrow window of opportunity.  The EuroCrats must embrace Capital Investment and Economic Development as crucial to solving the Greek economic crisis.  In addition, the rest of the world must work with China to complete the building of the Nicaragua Canal.  This is to benefit the Global Economy.

Warmest regards,


Thursday, October 30, 2014

G 20 Summit! E 20 Invited?

Long Story Short: 

The G 20 is holding a summit in Brisbane, Australia.  I also discovered the existence of a B 20 group: Business leaders who advise the G 20.  What have not heard is that the G 20 is inviting the E 20 to the Economic Summit. You cannot help people without their input, and you won’t help them if you exclude them.

This is why I’ve been writing my articles about Emerging Nations forming an Economic Union. 

Emerging NationsEconomic Union—an article that proposes the forming of an Economic Union for Emerging Nations and those Unions forming a Union of Emerging Economic Unions. 

Solving theEmerging Crisis—This is the proposal that would help leverage the power of Emerging Nations. 

Forming anE-20—This proposes leveling the playing field by establishing what the Emerging Nations of the World need to gain parity in Global Economic Affairs.  For example: if there is to be a G 20 Summit, the E 20 should be included. 

The Futureof the G20 in Good Times and Bad—This is a look into the future if we do not recognise the fact that 

1.  The military option is no longer viable.

2.  The Economic Zero Sum Game doesn’t’ work anymore.

Warmest regards, 


Copyright © 2014  Bob Asken writing as Slim Fairview

All rights reserved.